The Only Story by Julian Barnes

The Only Story

 This blog post has been written in response to an academic activity assigned by Prof. Dr. Dilip Barad. The worksheet forms part of our study of the contemporary novel The Only Story by Julian Barnes.

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Video 1: Plot Summary and Characters

This video offers an introduction to the key characters of the novel and presents a concise overview of the plot. The Only Story, a contemporary novel by Julian Barnes published in 2018, is structured into three parts and opens with the classical definition of the novel taken from Dr. Samuel Johnson’s Dictionary of the English Language (1755).

Novel: A small tale, generally of love.

 Samuel Johnson 

The main characters of The Only Story are Paul Roberts, a nineteen-year-old young man, and Susan Macleod, a forty-eight-year-old married woman. Susan is the wife of Gordon Macleod and the mother of two daughters, Martha and Clara, who are older than Paul. The novel revolves around the love relationship between Paul and Susan. The narrative is presented through the voice of an older Paul, who revisits his past and recounts his only love story. The novel unfolds through flashbacks that take the reader nearly fifty years into the past. This reflective mode of narration connects the novel to Barnes’s earlier work, The Sense of an Ending.

"Would you rather love the more, and suffer the more; or love the less, and suffer the less? That is, I think, finally, the only real question"

The novel opens with a question, suggesting that it is not simply a story about love, but a deeper reflection on life, pain, and emotional endurance. The narrative begins when Paul, a nineteen-year-old boy, joins a country tennis club. There, he meets Susan Macleod, and by coincidence, they are partnered for a mixed doubles match. This moment marks the beginning of their relationship. Paul starts driving Susan home every day, and gradually, their bond strengthens. Eventually, they move in together in London.

Over time, however, the relationship begins to fall apart. Susan develops a serious drinking problem and starts lying to Paul. Meanwhile, Paul grows older and emotionally distant, eventually moving abroad for work and leaving Susan behind. As Susan ages, she develops dementia, and Paul, no longer willing to take responsibility, leaves her in the care of her daughter Martha. Because the story is told entirely from Paul’s point of view, the reader only has access to his interpretation of events, which may not fully represent Susan’s experience.

Towards the end of the novel, Paul visits Susan in the hospital but shows little emotional concern. Rather than focusing on her illness, he worries about his empty petrol tank, reflecting his emotional detachment from Susan and their shared past.

Main Topics Covered :

• Memory novel

• Non-linear narration

• Subjective and unreliable memory

• Love as responsibility and suffering

Key Arguments & Interpretations :

• The novel is narrated by an older Paul recalling his past.

• Fragmented narration shows memory as unreliable.

• Love is presented as ethically demanding, not romantic.

• Paul’s narration is biased and morally ambiguous.

Examples from the Novel :

• Paul’s relationship with the older, married Susan Macleod

• Susan’s decline into alcoholism and dementia

• Paul’s avoidance of responsibility and emotional withdrawal

Video 2: Narrative Pattern 

The novel follows a largely classical narrative structure, yet its protagonist, Paul Roberts, functions as an unreliable narrator. Barnes blends first-, second-, and third-person perspectives, combining traditional narrative techniques with postmodern experimentation. Through Paul’s unstable narration, the novel deeply examines themes of memory and history, emphasizing the subjective and shifting nature of personal experience.

Would you rather love the more, and suffer the more; or love the less, and suffer the less? That is, I think, finally, the only real question. You may point out – correctly – that it isn’t a real question. 

Because we don’t have the choice. If we had the choice, then there would be a question. But we don’t, so there isn’t. Who can control how much they love? If you can control it, then it isn’t love. I don’t know what you call it instead, but it isn’t love.

Most of us have only one story to tell. I don’t mean that only one thing happens to us in our lives: there are countless events, which we turn into countless stories. But there’s only one that matters, only one finally worth telling. This is mine. 

The novel opens with a philosophical tension that immediately draws attention to the narrator’s unreliability. Paul begins by claiming that everyone has only one story worth telling, yet almost simultaneously argues that there are innumerable stories. This contradiction is not accidental; rather, it becomes a recurring motif throughout the novel. Barnes suggests that individuals often shape narratives in which they appear as heroes, avoiding those aspects of life that escape their control. Paul exemplifies this tendency. While he narrates his love story with confidence, the reader is left to question whether this is the complete truth or merely one version of events shaped by memory and self-justification.

This inconsistency is further reinforced when Paul initially denies keeping a diary but later admits that he has been maintaining one all along. The narrative thus becomes a fabric woven from memory, contradiction, and reflection, unfolding primarily through flashbacks. Memory functions as both structure and subject, highlighting its instability and selective nature.

Towards the end of the video, a comparison is made between Thomas Hardy and Julian Barnes. Whereas Hardy presents a coherent story enriched with philosophical reflection, Barnes fragments the narrative, prioritizing philosophical inquiry over plot continuity.

Main Topics Covered 

• Unreliable narration

• Memory as fragmented and subjective

• Philosophical inquiry into love and suffering

• Postmodern narrative techniques

• Tension between truth and self-justification

Key Arguments & Interpretations 

• Paul Roberts narrates the story retrospectively, making memory unstable and selective.

• Contradictions in the opening lines establish Paul as an unreliable narrator.

• Love is shown as uncontrollable and inseparable from suffering.

• The idea of the “only story” reflects how individuals shape life narratives to defend themselves.

• Barnes fragments the narrative to privilege philosophical reflection over linear storytelling.

Comparative Insight 

• Unlike Hardy’s structured storytelling, Barnes presents a broken narrative focused on thought rather than plot.

Video 3: Theme of Love | Passion and Suffering

The novel places love at its thematic center through the relationship between Paul and Susan. Paul’s early understanding of love is immature and narrowly defined by sexual fulfillment, lacking awareness of the responsibilities love demands. Barnes deliberately connects love to passion and suffering, recalling the Latin root patior, meaning “to suffer.” Through this lens, love evolves into a force that brings emotional pain, affecting not just the lovers but their families as well.

'Man's love is of man's life a thing apart 

'Tis women's whole existence

The novel includes the line “Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart; ’tis woman’s whole existence,” which Barnes uses to question and critique conventional ideas about love. Through the characters of Paul and Susan, the novel exposes the unequal emotional investment often expected of men and women. Susan commits herself deeply to her relationship with Paul, even though he is her third partner, while Paul remains unmarried throughout his life, bound by his attachment to Susan and a persistent sense of guilt rather than active commitment.

The video also introduces a Lacanian reading of the novel. From this perspective, love emerges as a way of addressing a fundamental lack within the self. Individuals project their repressed desires onto love objects—whether people or abstract ideals—in an attempt to achieve emotional completion. This framework is particularly evident in Susan’s marriage to Gordon, where emotional and sexual fulfillment are absent. Susan seeks both affection and desire in her relationship with Paul, who becomes her primary love object.

Yet the novel repeatedly emphasizes that love demands responsibility, a demand Paul consistently fails to meet. He remains passive in the face of Gordon’s violence toward Susan and eventually escapes the household rather than confronting the situation. Similarly, Paul does not intervene when Eric is attacked in the street, later recognizing his own cowardice. As Susan grows older and becomes dependent, Paul once again avoids responsibility by leaving her in the care of her daughter, Martha, instead of assuming the role himself.

Main Topics Covered

• Love as suffering and responsibility

• Gendered expectations of love

• Desire, lack, and the Lacanian love object

• Ethical failure in love

Key Arguments & Interpretations

• Barnes presents love not as romance but as a demanding ethical commitment tied to suffering.

• Paul’s youthful idea of love is sexual and immature, lacking responsibility.

• The novel critiques unequal emotional investment, where women sacrifice more than men.

• From a Lacanian perspective, love functions as an attempt to fill an inner lack.

• Paul avoids responsibility, turning love into guilt rather than care or commitment.

Examples from the Novel

• Susan’s emotional and sexual dissatisfaction in marriage to Gordon

• Paul’s passivity during domestic violence

• His failure to protect Eric

• Abandoning Susan during her decline by leaving her with Martha

Video 4: Memory Novel 

This video centers on four interconnected ideas: trauma as memory, the fallibility of memory, the prioritization of memory over factual truth, and the ethical relationship between memory and morality. The statement “History is collective memory; memory is personal history; trauma is memory” serves as the conceptual framework of the discussion.

A comparison is drawn between The Only Story and the film Memento, in which the protagonist suffers from severe short-term memory loss. The film raises an important ethical question: if memory disappears, does moral responsibility also vanish? In a postmodern context, both history and memory are shown to be unstable and complex. Each act of remembering involves distortion, as memories are reshaped by emotion, bias, and self-interest. Facts stored in memory are often mixed with fabrication.

This instability is evident in Paul’s narration. His memories are not erased but consciously reconstructed to suit his emotional needs. Paul repeatedly deceives both himself and the reader, using memory as a tool to rationalize guilt and avoid moral accountability. His unreliability reflects remorse without genuine ethical acceptance.

The video also engages with the idea that every individual possesses at least one deeply personal story that cannot be fully expressed. In this sense, everyone occupies a subaltern position—there are experiences that remain unspeakable. Paul’s love story is one such narrative. He struggles to articulate it honestly because he recognizes himself as the moral failure within it. Instead of confronting the truth, he reshapes the narrative to protect himself.

Paul’s psychological makeup is marked by cowardice. He repeatedly chooses flight over confrontation, notably in his failure to defend his friend Eric. The video briefly references an American figure and Formula One driver Max Verstappen, though their relevance to the novel remains ambiguous.

Main Topics Covered

• Trauma as memory

• Fallibility and reconstruction of memory

• Memory over factual truth

• Memory and moral responsibility

Key Arguments & Interpretations

• The video frames The Only Story as a postmodern exploration of memory and ethics.

• Memory is shown as unstable, emotionally shaped, and ethically charged.

• Paul does not lose memory but reconstructs it to justify guilt and avoid responsibility.

• Unlike Memento, where memory loss removes accountability, Paul manipulates memory while retaining moral agency.

• Paul’s narration reflects remorse without true moral acceptance.

Examples from the Novel

• Paul’s selective and self-serving recollection of events

• His reshaping of the love story to protect himself

• Failure to defend Eric

• Cowardice and avoidance of ethical confrontation

Video 5: Joan | Character Study

Joan, the surviving sister of Gerald—Susan’s first husband who died of leukemia—is presented as a confident and assertive personality. She often assumes a leadership role in her interactions, particularly with Susan, exercising a quiet authority that is reinforced through her sharp humor and witty remarks. Her conversational ease and ironic tone subtly establish her dominant position within her social circle. Alongside this confidence, Joan displays a practical mindset, especially in matters of daily expenditure, evident in her careful attention to costs such as fuel. This balance of humor and pragmatism reveals both her intelligence and her financial caution.

Joan is portrayed as independent and emotionally resilient. Having never married, she devoted much of her life to caring for her family, cultivating a self-reliant and slightly unconventional way of living. Although she indulges in simple pleasures like gin and cigarettes, she remains conscious of her habits and expenses. Her resistance to change—such as dismissing walking despite its health benefits—reflects her preference for comfort, stability, and control. Overall, Joan emerges as a distinctive and complex character, marked by wit, authority, and practical sensibility.

Main Topics Covered

• Responsibility and ethical awareness

• Shared vs. absolute blame

• Chain-of-responsibility as metaphor

Key Arguments & Interpretations

• Responsibility is a central ethical concern in the novel.

• Paul retrospectively judges events, initially seeing himself as morally innocent.

• Barnes shows responsibility as layered and difficult to assign through the chain-of-responsibility metaphor.

Examples from the Novel

• Gordon’s domestic violence as “absolute liability”

• Metaphors:

  • Chain of responsibility

  • Tree bending in a cyclone

  • Snake navigating sharp tools

• Paul acting as a retrospective judge without full evidence

Video 6: Two Ways to Look at Life

Life can be understood from two contrasting perspectives, with a spectrum of experience lying between them.

The first perspective compares life to captaining a ship. In this view, each decision—whether minor or significant—directs the course of one’s life, much like a captain steering a paddle steamer along a river. Every choice carries weight, opening certain paths while closing others, emphasizing the role of free will and personal agency in shaping one’s destiny.

The second perspective likens life to a log drifting in a river. Here, no matter how much one thinks they are making choices, life is largely guided by external forces beyond one’s control. Like a log carried by the currents of the Mississippi, individuals are swept along by circumstances, suggesting that much of life may be predetermined and outside the influence of conscious decision-making.

Paul, the narrator, oscillates between these two perspectives. At times, he feels the power and responsibility of steering his own life, while at other moments, he experiences the helplessness of being carried by fate. His reflections suggest that life often exists as a complex blend of agency and inevitability.

Main Topics Covered

• Love as suffering

• Postmodern critique of romantic ideals

• Lacanian theory of desire

Key Arguments & Interpretations

• Love is inseparable from pain, reflecting the original Latin meaning of passion as “suffering.”

• Barnes challenges traditional romantic myths, portraying love as contradictory, destructive, and deeply human.

• Lacanian theory shows love as driven by unconscious desire and shaped through language, extending beyond human objects.

• Life is presented through dual perspectives: one emphasizing free will and control, the other highlighting fate and inevitability.

Examples from the Novel

• Metaphors: paddle steamer (life steered by choice) vs. drifting log (life carried by forces beyond control)

• Human vs. non-human love objects

• Paul and Susan’s relationship as a site of emotional suffering

• Open-ended pain with no sentimental resolution

Video 7: Question of Responsibility 

The video explores the theme of responsibility as it unfolds in the novel. It opens with a quote emphasizing that the narrator must exercise care when recounting his story, suggesting that responsibility—both in narration and in life—is a central concern. Responsibility is presented in two ways: as a matter of personal choice and agency, or as something shaped by larger, uncontrollable forces.

Using the metaphor of a chain, the video explains that each person or event functions like a link in a chain. Just as a chain can break if a single link fails, relationships and life can unravel when a part of the whole falters. However, this metaphor also prompts reflection on whether a broken link is inherently weak or simply overwhelmed by external pressures. Applied to real-life events, it challenges the idea of assigning sole blame; for example, Gordon’s domestic violence cannot be seen in isolation, but as part of a chain in which multiple factors and people share responsibility.

Paul Roberts, the narrator, engages with this theme by reflecting on his own actions. He questions whether his mistakes are the result of personal failings or the influence of circumstances and others, such as Gordon. The lecture highlights that while it is easy to blame others, genuine ethical reflection requires acknowledging one’s own role in relationship breakdowns. Ultimately, the video argues that true understanding of responsibility involves seeing the larger picture: our lives are shaped both by our choices and by external forces, and we must confront our own contributions to any harm that occurs.

Main Topics Covered

• Responsibility in narration and life

• Personal agency vs. external forces

• Shared blame and ethical reflection

• Chain-of-responsibility metaphor

Key Arguments & Interpretations

• The video frames responsibility as a central ethical concern in the novel.

• Responsibility is both personal and shaped by external circumstances; it is never absolute.

• Barnes uses the chain metaphor to show how events and people are interconnected, complicating the assignment of blame.

• True ethical insight requires acknowledging one’s own role in failures rather than blaming others.

Examples from the Novel

• Gordon’s domestic violence as part of a broader chain of events

• Paul reflecting on his failures and moral accountability

• Metaphor of the chain: broken links and shared responsibility

• Paul questioning whether his mistakes are personal or circumstantial

Video 8: Theme of Marriage

The video examines the novel’s critique of marriage, presenting it as an institution that can undermine genuine love. It highlights the idea that true believers in love may naturally oppose marriage, suggesting that love and marriage are often at odds. Rather than being a sacred goal in life, marriage is depicted as a social convention that can stifle emotional fulfillment and lead to unhappiness.

To illustrate this, the video discusses metaphors comparing marriage to everyday objects and situations. For instance, a jewelry box that turns precious metals into base metal, or a disused boat no longer seaworthy, symbolize how marriage can lose its value over time, becoming a source of routine duties rather than a celebration of love. The discussion also emphasizes the silent suffering experienced by many in middle-class marriages, including instances of domestic violence and emotional neglect, as portrayed in the novel.

The video further contrasts contemporary alternatives to marriage, such as live-in relationships and divorce, with older literary critiques like those in Thomas Hardy’s novels. These modern arrangements offer greater freedom and reduce societal pressure to remain in unhappy unions. Importantly, the novel refrains from moralizing; it simply presents marriage as a complex institution, inviting readers to reflect on its challenges, limitations, and the responsibilities it entails.

Main Topics Covered

• Agency vs. passivity

• Choice, regret, and responsibility

• Narrative reconstruction of life

• Marriage as a social institution affecting love

Key Arguments & Interpretations

• The video highlights the tension between love and marriage, showing marriage as a social convention that can undermine emotional fulfillment.

• Life is explored philosophically: either as a paddle steamer (active choice) or a log drifting in water (passivity), emphasizing free will versus fate.

• Paul’s narration reflects human bias: emphasizing control in successes and helplessness in failures.

• Responsibility is intertwined with how life stories are remembered and recounted; memory reconstructs events to suit the narrator’s perspective.

Examples from the Novel

• Paul’s oscillation between exercising agency and being swept by inevitability

• Use of metaphors like jewelry boxes and disused boats to critique marriage

• Ego-driven reordering of events in Paul’s narrative

• Silent suffering in middle-class marriages, domestic violence, and emotional neglect

Overall Conclusion

The Only Story presents a postmodern meditation on love, memory, responsibility, and suffering. Barnes rejects romantic closure and moral certainty, showing that human lives are shaped not by many events but by one defining story—constantly revised in memory and never fully resolved.

References 

DoE-MKBU. “Introduction | Character | Plot Summary | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 31 Jan. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=46Lxx-C5Tg0.

---. “Narrative Pattern | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 1 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=395rhgkig1w.

---. “Theme of Love | Passion and Suffering | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 2 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f7hCKtGkGI.

---. “Memory Novel | Memory and History | Memory and Morality | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 2 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4yoNBCzrUs.

---. “Joan | Character Study | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 3 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=st-w_099Yr0.

---. “Two Ways to Look at Life | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 3 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7Wom7RAqI4.

---. “Question of Responsibility | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 3 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBj-ju4RuTo.

---. “Theme of Marriage | Critique of Marriage Institution | the Only Story | Julian Barnes.” YouTube, 3 Feb. 2022, www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCrSyV2jXzI.